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Design By Humans
Published On: Wed, Mar 9th, 2016

The Erotic Heritage Museum Prepared To Take Possession of Donald Trump’s Penis

Photo by Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images

Photo by Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images

Famous Las Vegas Institution Promises To Display Presidential Hopeful’s ‘Likeness’ 

Surely each ‘member’ of the 2016 Presidential Race is under exacting scrutiny, consistently assessed for how hard they can thrust themselves into important issues, measured for how tall they can stand on the core values of the party. During the most recent Republican debate, Donald Trump answered rival Marco Rubio’s mocking that The Donald’s hands are small-and the implication of diminutive size of his other parts-when Trump assured Megan Kelly and her team that “I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.” Following directly after Trump’s claim, Larry Flynt issued an open letter to Trump offering “…a team of doctors ready today to conduct the examination required to confirm your boast,” as well as adult toy and novelty maker Pipedream Products inviting the Republican front runner to have his penis molded free of charge.

Today The Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas offered to display the Presidential hopefuls’ cast.

“Mr. Trump has made political history on national television during a live debate claiming he is beyond adequate, where the size of his manhood is concerned, essentially making himself Ground Zero of the Girther Movement. No candidate for President has ever made such a claim, but instead have used euphemistic, albeit vague statements to that fact in the past and in modern times through the use of power words such as “aggressive,” “bold,” “strong,” and any other words associated with maintaining the patriarchy,” Dr. Victoria Hartmann, Executive Director of the EHM says.

The famous sex-positive Erotic Heritage Museum consistently honors Larry Flynt and Harry Money’s ongoing efforts of exposing corrupt and duplicitous politicians. In the glare of The Trump International Hotel Las Vegas, a mere few steps from the museum’s entrance, the EHM invites Mr. Trump to display his own private tower. In addition to a regular rotation of exhibitions culled from around the world with artifacts dating back to 1500 BCE, Harry Mohney’s Erotic Heritage Museum also boasts a second floor gallery, performance space, The World’s Largest Sex Bike and a sculpture of a penis entirely done in pennies.

Really, is there a better place to house Mr Trump’s likeness?

“In keeping with the offers made by Larry Flynt and Pipedream, should Mr. Trump be willing to back up his claim with verifiable evidence, the Erotic Heritage Museum is best suited to preserve such an important artifact. We stand ready to induct his Penis into our Museum.” Dr. Victoria adds.

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The Erotic Heritage Museum Prepared To Take Possession of Donald Trump’s Penis