Coral the Merknight vs SEARANTULA
It Weaves a Web of Metal
(Sea Spider Studios)

The heavy metal guitar and drum plodding of “Disclaimer,” opens It Weaves a Web of Metal. Here, we get a warning about what is to follow, that the listener’s health (mental and otherwise) is at serious risk if one listens further to these 13 fantastically silly metal parody tunes.

Just a title like “Videogames Greater Than Girlfriends” should clue you into what fun you’re going to find here, but Travis Orbin (of Darkest Hour) and Adōn Fanion (of Ghost Ship Octavius) can really play, and they have this heavy metal snap speed down perfectly.

The chime of a cymbal, and what sounds like a conga lay the bed under a so-tight-it-sounds-like-it-might-break-off-rhythm guitar on the quick and instrumental, “All This Walking is Making Me Thirsty.”

Beeping echo keys mixed with heavy chords sway in another instrumental “(Oh Great, Another) Origin Story.” This one really sees the guys employing lots of different colors (not just heavy metal tropes), and when the lead comes it is perfectly placed. Even the spoken over-the-top “Ballad of the Broken Refrigerator” has a got a big ballsy bass under the mid-tempo groove, a sing-able chorus. and a break near the end with harmonica and good old boys talking.

“Whip My Hair,” is straight-ahead thrash, as is the high riffery (complete with phone ringing sounds) “Eduardo Manivino AKA Edward Winehands,” and this whole nutty concoction ends with the rhythm guitar, big drums, and waves of “Fish Outta Water.”

What’s being said here is anybody’s guess. There’s lots of territory covered in the wry lyrics, but generally I think we are getting a little rumination on the modern world we aren’t supposed to take too seriously. Coral the Merknight vs SEARANTULA’s It Weaves a Web of Metal is wonderful fun metal stuff and worth picking up.