Pixies
Indie Cindy
(PIAS America)

Do you have any idea how excited I was when I learned there was going to be new Pixies music? Could you hear the collective cry of joy from Pixies fans the world over? Were you, yourself, among us? Did you, like us, never consider that they could let us down? How foolish we were. How foolish indeed.

It sickens me to speak ill of the Pixies. I feel dirty telling people that their new record, Indie Cindy, sounds like Metallica on their worst day. My stomach makes unsettling noises when I remember that this record exists. I feel pain in my bones when I think of future generations, who will know this record as part of the otherwise perfect Pixies discography.

The worst part is what this means for those of us who thought Black Francis was a genius. Were we wrong? Does this negate Doolittle? Was Kim Deal really the only thing keeping this band good? Is her absence the only reason this new Pixies record is the most saddening collection of horrible songs I’ve ever had to hear?

I don’t particularly care to write anything more about this new record, other than my opinion that it’s terrible and that fans of the Pixies (or of music in general) should try to forget that it exists.