Design By Humans
Published On: Thu, Mar 30th, 2017

THE SEX FILES: Beat Me in St. Louis 2017 Part 1

Once again my partner-in-crime, infamous scribe, man-among-goats, champion bon vivant and all around grooviest guy on the planet, M. Christian and I were asked to present three classes at BMSLXX/Beat Me in St. Louis 2017. This marks the StL3 organizations 20th year presenting this wild weekend of kink fun, education and socializing – and having been to a goodly amount of these kind of get-together’s, I can tell you for sure the Beat Me folks have this down!

As was true of last year, I was picked up at the airport by Rosie. For Chris and I, having Rosie be the first person we met of the group and the last we saw when we were dropped off at the airport started and ended the weekend on the highest note. Second year in, we were both so looking forward to seeing Rosie again and hoping to get to spend more time with him. And we did.

I got in around 10am, the event not fully set up yet (there is lots to do with a kink convention of this size, really) so I simply hung around the hotel, checked into my room, helped unload a van quickly, hugged a few people who remembered me from last year, checked in with fearless leader JsLn (how he stays smiling through all the madness I do not know!) and had lunch. As I mentioned last year, the meals here are no small matter. There is a large staff room where we all come to chill out, congregate, but mostly eat; JsLn, a great cook, makes sure for breakfast, lunch and dinner, his presenters and staff are well fed. He also told me this time, as he did last, that his generosity to the hotel staff, tipping the people working hard in the kitchen who most hotel visitors never see or even think about, is key. Building and maintaining relationships with people is a special skill that JsLn has cultivated to an art and it makes Beat Me run as smooth as it does.

Back with Rosie and his lady PrincesssBitch (who so is not a bitch) to pick up Chris in the afternoon, we had occasion to run through a part of St Louis (Illinois we’d soon be crossing the muddy Mississippi into Missouri to go to the airport) that saw us drive on the famous Rt.66. We grabbed Chris, he and I hugging and giggling in the backseat like BFF high-school girls just so happy to see one another.

On the way back from the airport, Rosie and his lady were talking about a late night “greasy spoon” diner in town that they were thinking of going to. They invited Chris and I along (or did we invite ourselves?) and we made plans to get out come midnight when the place opened. Which we did.

Unfortunately, Rosie’s lady couldn’t join us, but the three amigos did get down to the French side of St. Louis (forgoing JsLn’s amazing all-free midnight buffet for attendees back at the hotel), not so far from that famous arch actually rolling into Billie’s. The waitress was a big-busted, punk-haired cutie with attitude, the food was great, cheap and way too much for one mortal to eat and Chris and I sat there picking Rosie’s brain about his years working in prop making in mid-60’s L.A. for the sci-fi T.V. shows and movies we are such nuts for.

Not so much jetlagged (it is only an hour difference between N.J. and St Louis) but tired from having not slept Thursday night into Friday when I had to leave early for the airport, I woke and carbo-loaded and coffee-ied as best I could for the 11:30 class Chris and I were teaching: “A Beat You Can Beat To: Rhythm Play.” Again, the staff here does everything they can to make sure each room supporting a class is well outfitted with chairs, tables, all specifics a presenter could ask for. Beyond the ubiquitous backstage requests of no brown M&M’s, forty white lilies and chilled jumbo shrimp cocktails, really Chris and I don’t need much. But we did have some flyers printed out for us beforehand, dutifully made and handled by super couple TJ and his lady Beauty. Whereever these two walked, together or solo, they just brought a smile to your face. They do their jobs to the very best degree, as they are such a warm couple and really funny. Their obvious affection for one another is contagious.

I admit here and now, in lots of these hour-and-a-half classes I am more emcee and comic relief; Chris is the man-in-the-know. He teaches on a regular basis all throughout San Francisco and at one time was heavily into ‘the scene’ there. But we have the same sensibilities about sexual play, anything sexual actually, in that all parties be consenting and all parties be cautious. And we can work a room, or so we have been told. We had two ‘demo bottoms’ for that class, lovely ladies who gave of their time and bodies so we could demonstrate the intricate techniques we were talking about.

A wonderful warm varied lunch followed, but Chris and I did not partake. Instead, we had Rosie drive us about twenty minutes away, only blocks from Billie’s actually, to sample some authentic St. Louis barbecue at Bogart’s. The baked beans and ‘Fire and Ice’ pickles were to die for. Picked up, via Rosie an hour-and-a-half later (after walking through the Farmer’s Market and Chris having to sample some mini-donuts), my partner and I took to our rooms, and managed a little napping before our late afternoon class: “Tit Torture For Boobs: A breast play intensive.”

And that’s where I’ll leave it until next week….

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THE SEX FILES: Beat Me in St. Louis 2017 Part 1